The countdown had begun on the 90" projected count-down screen on the white background. There was the crowd of 89 scientists and physicists watching the big screen. I was simultaneously watching it on a 15" monitor above my head. I was about see the earth exactly the way I had seen it in my "All about our Galaxy" Encyclopaedia book in another coming 30 seconds. I would have surpassed sound in it's purest existence.
I was about to go on the farthest place visited by anyone to have a trade meeting over lunch; Neptune. I was really excited to meet them as I took off. I had packed my mom-made sandwich. I wondered what they would get for lunch. I was hoping they would have some chicken curry. I was confident of strengthening our inter-galactical relations which would open up trade routes. By this time, I could see the earth as the size of a football. I had crossed moon and could see Mars. From my pre-breakfast calculations, I was supposed to be between the Earth and the Moon, but NASA did a good job adding that NOS (Nitrous Oxide) thing to the fuel exhaust, it's real fast, damn.
I thought of having a quick nap. It really felt like 7 PM since the sun was almost setting, only to wake up and see myself in a could of heavy volcanic smoke. I took out my HTC GPS to learn I was already at Jupiter. No wonder, the scientists told me not to stop for breakfast there. All I would possibly get be a large size of lava fizz and Propane-Zinger Meal. No way was I going to spoil the newly tinted space shuttle wind shield glass for that. I clicked some photos though and tweeted. As I turned my head to my left, I could see through the tinted window, the blue ball, Neptune. I was getting anxious to meet them. I opened up my gmail and read the exact address, in the last email, those aliens had sent me, in case I made no mistakes. Yes, it was the same:
4th Ciplox Street,
Diametrically Opposite to Tacophonix Apartments
Bumper Street - ὥρᾱ3.14
Landmark: Uranaus
The meeting was scheduled at exactly 274^10.5 : ᾱ Neptune 'o' clock. I checked my ebay purchased watch, it showed I still had some "highly complex integral" time left to reach my destination. So, I sat back and enjoyed the remaining journey since my post-breakfast calculations assured me that I would reach there on time. As I was viewing outside the window, I crossed Jupiter, saw a couple of black holes, witnessed a red star fart it's ass off, a Tissot watch floating in the air along with a used condom. As I saw the watch, I recalled the conversation I was having with Neil Armstrong over dinner saying, he had lost his watch and couldn't find it. He had also been recently divorced, since he probably had some extra-galactic affair. That explained the condom. Nevertheless, time square-flew by and I had reached Uranus. I thought, Uranus was a more meeting friendly planet rather than Neptune; but I believe Neptune was the centre meeting point for both of the parties. I slowly prepared myself to steer the spaceship in the landing position and turned the flaps and air brakes on. As I was about to land on Neptune lands, I could spot the aliens' spaceship in a No-parking zone. Nevertheless, I parked adjacent to their spaceship. I took off my sweatpants and t-shirt and changed myself into a suit with a helmet. I also took my sandwich.
I got out and stood there and waited for them to say something. They were 3 of them. Suddenly one of them said
I was about to go on the farthest place visited by anyone to have a trade meeting over lunch; Neptune. I was really excited to meet them as I took off. I had packed my mom-made sandwich. I wondered what they would get for lunch. I was hoping they would have some chicken curry. I was confident of strengthening our inter-galactical relations which would open up trade routes. By this time, I could see the earth as the size of a football. I had crossed moon and could see Mars. From my pre-breakfast calculations, I was supposed to be between the Earth and the Moon, but NASA did a good job adding that NOS (Nitrous Oxide) thing to the fuel exhaust, it's real fast, damn.
I thought of having a quick nap. It really felt like 7 PM since the sun was almost setting, only to wake up and see myself in a could of heavy volcanic smoke. I took out my HTC GPS to learn I was already at Jupiter. No wonder, the scientists told me not to stop for breakfast there. All I would possibly get be a large size of lava fizz and Propane-Zinger Meal. No way was I going to spoil the newly tinted space shuttle wind shield glass for that. I clicked some photos though and tweeted. As I turned my head to my left, I could see through the tinted window, the blue ball, Neptune. I was getting anxious to meet them. I opened up my gmail and read the exact address, in the last email, those aliens had sent me, in case I made no mistakes. Yes, it was the same:
4th Ciplox Street,
Diametrically Opposite to Tacophonix Apartments
Bumper Street - ὥρᾱ3.14
Landmark: Uranaus
The meeting was scheduled at exactly 274^10.5 : ᾱ Neptune 'o' clock. I checked my ebay purchased watch, it showed I still had some "highly complex integral" time left to reach my destination. So, I sat back and enjoyed the remaining journey since my post-breakfast calculations assured me that I would reach there on time. As I was viewing outside the window, I crossed Jupiter, saw a couple of black holes, witnessed a red star fart it's ass off, a Tissot watch floating in the air along with a used condom. As I saw the watch, I recalled the conversation I was having with Neil Armstrong over dinner saying, he had lost his watch and couldn't find it. He had also been recently divorced, since he probably had some extra-galactic affair. That explained the condom. Nevertheless, time square-flew by and I had reached Uranus. I thought, Uranus was a more meeting friendly planet rather than Neptune; but I believe Neptune was the centre meeting point for both of the parties. I slowly prepared myself to steer the spaceship in the landing position and turned the flaps and air brakes on. As I was about to land on Neptune lands, I could spot the aliens' spaceship in a No-parking zone. Nevertheless, I parked adjacent to their spaceship. I took off my sweatpants and t-shirt and changed myself into a suit with a helmet. I also took my sandwich.
I got out and stood there and waited for them to say something. They were 3 of them. Suddenly one of them said
"Woka ping pong kur kure kiti kiti"
and pointed towards the reserved dinner table in the open ground. For a second, I thought they were going to give me a karate lesson, but I hadn't bought my belt. But, I got the message, they said
"We are hungry, let's have lunch over there."
I smiled and walked towards them, greeted them a "good afterdark" as we walked towards the bench. They looked pretty well built, their eyes very zoomed-in and behaved very much like the Chinese. They were very friendly, extremely. We prayed before starting lunch. I offered them my sandwich, which they graciously accepted. They offered me a pot of green blog, but I stuck to my sandwich. They loved my sandwich. We cracked some fart jokes and had a great laugh. We also discussed about trade routes and what exactly to trade.
Finally, it was time to depart. I also took a picture of us together & told them I would email it to them. They gave me a picture of "Pamela Anderson" as a memento and marked a successful trade partnership between them and us. Probably they hacked into one of our satellites broadcasting Bay Watch, I thought. At that very moment, I thought I would be a great hero back in our land. As soon as I waved them goodbye, they started jumping and showed their tongue. Probably that's how they say goodbye. I kept waving them goodbye.
Nice blog. Interesting at all points. Well fantasised, especially the Tissot watch and the condom! Wonder what SRK would say to that ;)
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